Thursday, December 31, 2015

Goodbye to 2015




I did not love 2015, it was a tough year.  My Dad died, which is still hard to believe some days. My mother continues to deteriorate in a nursing home. I let go of some unhealthy relationships, and am much better off for that. There were high points, my son graduated from high school and went on to college. My business had a good year. Both of my children are healthy, responsible and kind human beings...I look forward to what 2016 will bring.

So on to that new year. I don't do "resolutions" so I will call them suggestions. Some that we can all benefit from.

  1. Let go of guilt.
  2. Allow yourself to say No.
  3. Focus on what is important-what is important to me may not be important to you and that is ok.
  4. Realize there are some things we cannot control. Let it go.
  5. Say goodbye, leave the past in the past, that is where it belongs.
  6. Let grudges go. They take too much energy.
  7. Laugh...a lot. Laugh at yourself...even more.
  8. If something or someone is meant to be it will happen. Don't force it. 
  9. Who cares what other people think. 
  10. You never really know what someone is going through, be kind as often as you can. 
  11. Spend more time hanging out with your dog (or cat) they are amazingly understanding and therapeutic. 

I wish you all a happy and prosperous new year!

Monday, December 21, 2015

The Spirit of Christmas





Sharing something I did not write today...thank you to my old and dear friend Pat Perkins for sharing it with me.

Christmas Story:
For the Man Who Hated Christmas
By Nancy W. Gavin
It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past ten years.
It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas. Oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it – overspending and the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma – the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.
Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.
Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was on the wrestling team at the school he attended. Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.
As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford.
Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids – all kids. He so enjoyed coaching little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came.
That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes, and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed a small, white envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done, and that this was his gift from me.
Mike's smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year. And that same bright smile lit up succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition – one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.
The white envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning, and our children – ignoring their new toys – would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the small, white envelope never lost its allure.
The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree. And the next morning, I found it was magically joined by three more. Unbeknownst to the others, each of our three children had for the first time placed a white envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing to take down that special envelope.
Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit will always be with us.
I would love to hear about your experience after you've done your envelope!